Growing up and the greater good in people
Up to this point, 2006 has been somewhat of a revelation year for me. For the first time, I really started paying most of my own bills, calculating my finances on a budget, and basically learning the hardships of trying to be an adult. It’s weird, years ago I was nothing more than some pissed off 18-year-old kid who probably walked with his legs a little too far apart and with more of a strut than anything he had accomplished would suggest is rightful. I didn’t realize until the last couple of years just how much of an unjust chip I had on my shoulder. What happened was that there was a reality that would soon be bestowed upon me courtesy of the real world and adulthood.When you are young, you hear plenty of different types of advice from people. “Save money”, “exercise”, “drive slow”, “avoid credit cards”, “plan for college”, “get good grades”, “eat healthy”, “listen to your elders”, “work hard” – yet, many of us choose to not take the advice seriously. We take this advice lightly perhaps because we feel invincible at such a young age that we don’t see the dangers of the future ahead; we really just brush these pieces of advice away. We live in the moment, which is a good thing, but we also abuse the moment as well.
What I’ve found is that when you are, or, at least, when I know I was younger, I didn’t believe in the greater good in people. I was malicious at times, or ignorant, insensitive, careless and so on, and I believe that because I knew I was that way, I thought everyone else was that way too. I saw beyond the true, real good that so many people have within themselves because I lacked a greater good myself.
From about ages 16-20, I was making pretty good money for my age – while living at home – and I started to take life for granted. I partied, drove recklessly in neighborhoods, I blew money as soon as I earned it, I looked down ignorantly on people, I would manipulate, lie – things were always about me. I took for granted the long hours my parents put into work to support me, the food in the cabinets, relatives, advice, school, etc.
Then, probably around the end of 2004, I had a reality check. Many, actually. I stepped onto a scale – 242 pounds. I started going to college and I had no money in the bank because I blew it all (DVDs, baseball games, eating out, etc). I wasn’t doing as well as I could in school because I didn’t realize that I had to earn my grades. I thought it was like high school; get just good enough grades to satisfy the parents.
All of a sudden I was buying my own food, making my own car payments, paying for a cell phone, paying my own way through school, etc. and as fast as I would earn money, it was gone, mostly because of bills.
Then I started to wonder about the greater good in people. People who give advice not because they want to, but because they mean it and they care simply because they want to. When you think about, the greater good in people is everywhere. Most (there are some clear exceptions) people are not bad, most have some sort of story to tell or some sort of thought to share – any of which are important to anyone who can spend the time to truly listen. Fact is, those people make up the majority of the people we see around us.
Around March 2005, I realized that I needed to change. I had to start eating better, because walking up three flights of stairs shouldn’t have winded me at only 20 years old. I also had to start eating better because there was no excuse for having to eat out twice a day, sometimes more.
I had to start making better use of my time, not just spend it how I please and working toward only short term goals. I had to start keeping in touch with my family more often, and not take most of them for granted (there were deaths in my family, and the thought that I would never see those family members again really shook me). I had to start doing well in school because I wanted to and so I could create more opportunities for me, not so I could just keep my parents happy.
I had finally realized the ignorance in my life.
The result? I worked very hard and lost a bunch of weight, which is something I feel quite proud of (about 60 pounds). I eat many fruits and veggies, and I eat out a lot less. I focus more on paying my bills on time. I lift weights usually 2-3 times a week, and run 2-4 miles 2-3 times per week. I blow less money on stuff I don’t really need, and take more pride in the smaller things in life (a good dinner, family, friends, school, being outside, a job, a roof). I don’t think now, like I used to, that I have to have a bunch of money to keep myself occupied or happy. Basically, I am starting to see the greater good in people and in the small things in life.
While I do sometimes have trouble with my driving negligence (two tickets in two months after not getting a single ticket for three years), and sometimes I tend to have lazy spells (like I am having know, knowing I should be typing an article for work), I feel like overall I’ve kinda grown up – a lot.
I guess the overall point of all of this is to believe in the greater good in people and in making the right decisions. If you know it’s right, do it. If you know it isn’t right, don’t do it. What I’ve found over time is the less you have, the more you appreciate what you have.
To anyone who is a teenager or in just some kind of hole: work yourself out of it. You can do it, it’s not as impossible as it may often seem. Sometimes, many of us have people around us who should be supporting us that choose not to (family, friends). Well, ignore them. Look the other way. But for those who have a supportive family or some great friends, take time to really appreciate them. What can you get that’s really better in life?
If you are young, work toward having an easier life for when you are older. Do what’s right now, and reap the benefits of it forever.
It really is the little things that make life great. If people always seek something bigger and better they’ll never really come to appreciate what’s right in front of them. Look at many of the “poor” countries around the world; the people in those countries aren’t usually complaining about what they don’t have, they’re just smiling and they’re content with the small things they already have. It seems so often in Western society, and I can say that I have definitely been an example of this, we get caught up in getting bigger and better with everything; the truth is, what’s bigger and better then everything we already have?
For what it’s worth, if you’re looking for a great book to read, try Walden by Henry David Thoreau. Best piece of print I’ve ever touched in my life, and it’s what I feel like is really what opened my eyes to a lot of stuff.
Blog is a funny sounding word, isn’t it?
Ah, a blog. I thought it was about time to start writing about random things once again. Random things used to come via livejournal, but being 22-years-old, who uses a “journal’ at this age? Ha! So on to the more ‘mature’ and ‘professional’ approach to diary-esque writing – a blog. Of course, everyone knows that no child uses a blog.
I hope people can find some enjoyment in reading my future posts, and feel free to comment on anything you read. My blog is a way of me throwing myself into ‘adulthood’ – who needs a lame livejournal anymore? 
Just me and a little bit more 